The mirror stared at me
but it showed me someone else.
it was not my reflection.
Continuing with my “I’m an open book” theme, I am actually sharing an excerpt from a journal I kept in 2015 (aged twenty-seven), during a really tough time in my life.
I spent some time last week working on de-cluttering my room (I do this when I’m too emotional – I either crash and cannot move or I do too much and throw away shit that I actually need) and came across old journals and lots of loose pages, all filled with my writing about my (disturbed) emotions. FUN.
This journal entry particularly got my attention.
I’m sharing this, because it really shows how much I have changed, and how much I went through but I never let myself feel it, looking back now it seems so surreal.
It’s as if I spent all those months dissociating non stop; mind and body were completely disconnected. My way of coping I guess.
I have a feeling many go through this too…not my story word for word, but the struggle and the unhealthy copings habits. So, here is me…Continue reading
So, recently, I came across a few journal entries that I wrote and had forgotten about. I’ve decided to share them all, here on the internet – yeah, baby!
This first entry that I’m sharing (below) was written by me, soon after one of my huge breakdowns. The year was 2013, and wherever you see “Side note:”, well these are notes I made now; in 2016 , with fresh eyes!
*Trigger Warning* Before continuing, please note, this post contains some emotional content as well as discussion of panic attacks, which can be a potential trigger to some.
Date: Today is the 23rd of October 2013
I’m not sure why I’m writing this.
Lately, I’ve been feeling this urge to write down everything I’m feeling. It’s almost like, by acknowledging all of these negative feelings, I will be released from this horrific darkness that’s killing me. And somehow, this pain won’t affect me anymore. As if. There’s hoping eh?!Continue reading