*Trigger Warning* Before continuing, please note, this post contains some emotional content and discussion of self-harm behaviour & suicide ideation which can be a potential trigger
…awesome, crazy, fun, loyal friends…
I miss you so much.
I have so much to tell you, and I want to know what’s happening in your lives oh so bad.
I don’t think I’ve actually explained what the fuck has been happening properly. I just disappeared. And I’m so fucking sorry for that.
So here is me trying…
I have severe anxiety, depression and borderline personality disorder (I’ve been told I have traits of other personality disorders too but I mainly relate to borderline or emotionally unstable personality disorder). I’ve been struggling with it for a few years now; I was first diagnosed with anxiety & depression in 2012 & then personality disorder, not otherwise specified in 2015, but I’ve become a pro at putting on an “I’m fine” face (I only realised this recently thanks to a mindfulness course, many A&E visits, counselling & psychotherapy – some may say I was in denial), but it wasn’t until 2014 that I completely mentally & physically broke down (there were various breakdowns leading up to the big one of 2014 but for the sake of keeping this as short as possible, I’ll leave those out). As a result, the past two years have been the most difficult in terms of illness.